Unveiling the Real Neil Gaiman: Beyond Allegations and Celebrity
I know Neil Gaiman.
Neil Gaiman is a friend of mine.
And believe you me, you’re no Neil Gaiman.
Up til now I’ve been keeping my mouth shut about the allegations being made against Neil Gaiman, mainly to avoid adding fuel to fire. These rumours have taken on a life of their own. In this age of short-attention span memes and conspiracies, even the most unfounded accusations can gain traction. This happens because people associate truth with what they last recall hearing or reading.
I have nothing to say about the actual accusations. I don’t know the women making the allegations and I see Neil so infrequently, that it would be irresponsible for me to speculate one way or another as to their credibility as I really have no idea.
I do have a very clear idea of who Neil Gaiman is and how he is or is not capable of behaving. I’ve known Neil since he was a struggling journalist in the 1980s. He tried to carve a living out of writing SF book reviews for porn mags in London. Most nights, he scraped the train fare together to get back to Maidenhead.
I used to buy Neil drinks (scotch and American, as I recall) because as a publicist I had an expense account, and Neil was terminally broke.
In return, Neil introduced me to Douglas Adams (for whom he was preparing The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Companion), Terry Pratchett, John Brosnan, Lisa Tuttle, CliveBarker and later Alan Moore.
Neil was a sharp social butterfly at the time and although he was always on the hustle for paying writing work, he was a kind, funny guy who always had time to make useful introductions while keeping the conversations going with his wit and easy charisma. His eternal black leather jacket and devotion to Lou Reed became his recognizable brand.
I don’t think he ever took that black leather jacket off and it’s most probably now hanging in some comics museum somewhere. Neil introduced me to his first comics collaborator Dave McKean, a visual genius in his own right who actualized Neil’s first graphic novel, Violent Cases and later all the comics covers to his Sandman opus.
These were heady times. Great talents like Alan Moore, Frank Miller, Bill Sienkiewicz, the Hernandez Brothers, Dave McKean, and Neil himself were radically redefining the nature of the comics medium. These guys were artists who were intent on pushing boundaries and they did they succeeded,as demonstrated by the last 25 years of graphic storytelling.
At the time, I worked for Titan Books and once Neil had conned (ahem), convinced Publisher Nick Landau to publish Violent Cases as an album (pre trade paperback, Graphic Novel times), I was paid to publicize the “book”. Quotes around “book”. because Violent Cases was more of a long short story than a novel in the classical sense.
But Neil’s narrative emphasis on the role of childhood memory and mistaken memory was captivating, bringing a literary approach to ‘just another comic’ that was groundbreaking for the medium. I had never read such a theme and it’s exploration in a comic before and of course Dave McKean’s artwork, in its early representational realism style (combing mixed media of photos, sketches and painting): was sunning. No one had ever painted a comic like that before.
So I got to work alongside my buddy Neil, and my soon to be friend Dave for a few months while I wrote press releases, arranged interviews, organized signing events.
And I got paid for it.
To be honest, my best efforts only produced mixed commercial results for the album. It was too wide for most bookshops to shelve and the lessons learnt in it marketing Violent Cases is what led to Nick and DC comics settling on the standard of trade paperback for graphic novels.
But Violent Cases had a much further reaching impact: it got both Neil and Dave into DC. First with the tenuous Black Orchid limited 3 issue series (albeit featuring a stunningly handsome villain in a dark suit) and then of course Sandman.
Sandman is the reason I’m finding these accusations of sexual aggression on Neil’s part so suspect. People forget that Sandman was a break thru comic.
I actually didn’t like it at first, as I found it prosaic and flowery (inspiring me to create and write a parody of his style for Britain’s 2000AD entitled The Clown, a self obsessed, flowery speaking clown seeking revenge for the killing of his pony, Toby.
Compared to Sandman, that was a terrible strip, btw)
But in hindsight, it was groundbreaking because there were no superheroes in Neil’s fantasy Dreamscape. The Sandman was more a figure of fragile pathos than hero. More importantly, Neil’s voice was speaking not just to boys, but to girls as well at a time when, well girls just didn’t read comics.
Alan Moore once described Neil’s writing as “feminine writing” and his prose as somewhat effeminate. It sounded like an insult at the time as the big burly masculine Yeti from Northampton was busy during stakes in the hearts of boys own superhero’s in Watchmen.
But he wasn’t being condescending, he was profoundly right. Neil wasn’t just writing for boys, he was writing for boys AND girl. By the 12th issue of Sandman, boys were buying it to show to their girlfriends demonstrating the cross gender value of graphic story telling.
And remarkably, girls started buying and reading comics and then writing and drawing and publishing comics! By the late 90s female attendance at Comics Conventions was normal and Cosplay began to be a regular thing.
I’m not suggesting that Neil did this by himself. Karen Berger helped considerably. More and more male artists started to write for a gender wide audience and more and women became auteurs.
And Neil had a lot to do with this. I personally witnessed Neil going out of his way to open doors, make introductions and help women artists and writers break through the glass comics frame.
Of this I assure you with all certainty: as night follows day and day follows night, Neil Gaiman respects women. He loves women to which his daughters can attest and has supported women his entire life.
Now I’m not saying that this demonstrated respect discredits the standing allegations. What I am saying is that knowing Neil, having been around Neil, I find it highly suspect that he would commit acts of aggression, sexual or otherwise to women, regardless the circumstance.
Neil just isn’t made that way.
Now sex is a funny thing at the best of times.
So is celebrity.
I think the parameters of sexually appropriate behavior between men and women have changed radically over the past 30 years and for the better.
I myself have been called out by younger men for inappropriate attitudes towards young women when within my generational context, I was paying an innocent compliment. I’ve had to change my behavior and adapt.
Why? Because times have changed and women have the right to more succinctly determine how and when they will entertain male attention, and on what terms. Now is the time when sexual attention must be overt and clearly permit-able. Men cannot assume, we must ask if it’s OK. If our attentions are welcome or, in fact, an annoyance. We also need to know when to back off without rancor or retribution.
In the end, making love means just that, having love, affection, and respect for the object of your desires.
So maybe Neil has to adapt to his own generational context as well, but I doubt it. Neil was always ahead of the curve when it came to gender sexuality. He connected with trans people before it became a thing and promoted the sexual diversity of all people, regardless, both professionally and personally.
So these facts about Neil that I know first hand leads me to the latter conclusion. That the issue here being raised is more about celebrity than sexuality.
Celebrity is after all, merely a surplus of attention.
Most if not all the women accusing Neil of improprieties concede that their relationship were not just consensual but mutually initiated. That’s a big deal and very different from the Harvey Weinstein or Donald Trump’s sexual assaults.
Nor does there appear to be much basis for coercion or the undue use of a professional power dynamic, which has often been true in such situations. Sex used as power is not love at all.
In reading these women’s accounts of what they hold Neil accountable for,what comes through is a tone of regret and disappointment.
Now with all due respect to their pain, I know of no human being on this planet who does not regret some sexual encounter they’ve had in their life, myself included. the pain is all part of growing up, of maturing personally and sexually. Of learning what we don’t want and do want out of intimacy.
Inevitably, this requires making mistakes, regretting them, and correcting those mistakes.
I suspect that if Neil wasn’t a celebrity author caught in the media spotlight that these allegations (some over 20 years ago), would have taken a less public form. Not that they shouldn’t be brought forwards. On the contrary, I would invite any woman I have known in my life who feels that they have been subjected to my abuse, sexual or otherwise. They are welcome to confront me. They should come forward and receive my apologies for their regret and my behavior.
I’ve made some serious mistakes with the women in my life.
I am separated from my English wife with whom upon reflection and hindsight I did not treat as well as I should have or she deserved to be treated. I cannot undo the past, but I can recognize my mistakes, apologize for my trespasses and try to live and be a better person.
Hopefully, be a kinder person who does no harm.
When it comes to Neil, all I can really say is that in the time I have known him, he has proven to be an artist, a man of integrity who’s generous spirit has improved the lives of others for the better, especially women.
He’s no saint, but he’s no demon either and his demonization is not only injust and unfair but does nothing to help the lives of his accusers.
We are all hopefully entering a gentler, kinder and more honest political and personal age. The personal is political and if I stand to be corrected for anything I’ve written above, I invite you to do so with the kindness and compassion my words invite.
Respectfully, Igor Goldkind
August,2024
igorgoldkind
Well said. I myself have known Neil for a period of 20 years now and have drawn many of the same conclusions as yourself.
September 10, 2024 at 14:00
I know there were 3 crucifixions but do we really need to nail Amanda Palmer to a cross of speculation alongside Neil?
Having been a fan ofAmanda’s since before she met Neil, when I did eventually meet her I got the distinct impression that she took an instant dislike to me.
Although she was very nice to my daughter.
I learned to grow a skin that a herd of rhino in Africa covet; so it doesn’t really bother me that we didn’t get along. Lot’s of people don’t like me; some of them even have reasons.
But just because Amanda didn’t instantly like me and just because she’s a strong, charismatic songstress talent and just because she’s modestly famous, doesn’t make her prime candidate for the Lady MacBeth role in the play being written about Neil by his fans.
Maybe she has her own life.
Wouldn’t that be a hoot?
September 23, 2024 at 09:14
The whole podcast thing reads like a Dateline ep in the making. Amanda is a co-conspirator, she may think of herself as an artist, but she is a Madam in every sense of the word. Recruiting women of a certain age, grooming them in presentation and without much fanfare releases them into a world, they couldn’t possibly know how to play.
yes, Neil, lacked emotional and psychological maturity, but he was told my Madame, Amanda, these women were vetted to his liking and even suggested to Claire to “nibble Neil’s neck” as she often did. True. Neil should have known better as one would think a man of a certain age, should know such things.
Psychological pathology between folks attract folks of equal and greater pathological issues, none of these players are healthy individuals. Each participant came in with a perception that did not live up to the dream.
Neil has paid greatly, in real dollars, career rejection, and world condemnation. The women? Amanda is profiting quite nicely, as she blackmailed Neil, extending the divorce issues forcing him to dig deeper into his pocket and well past the agreed upon dollars, of an agreed upon, pre-nuptial. Amanda of course, planned it all, making sure to have a child, and lay in wait for ten years, as is required when asking for half in a U.S. divorce.
NZ got cash, six months paid rent, and most likely more cash, that has been unreported once the whole thing broke. Scarlett seems to me, as the truest victim of the lot. Inexperienced sexually and preferring women, especially finding Palmer, her greatest desire. She sounded far younger and more naive than her 22 years. Her experience as she tells it could be many a young woman’s experience, her love for a man she barely knew, then offering emotional support to him, when both were wallowing in suicidal thoughts. Is awful to listen to.
For Neil’s part? He proved to be quite a manipulator and liar, with his silky voice offering to take Scarlett to a premier of his latest project and such. Neil, was very bad. He did not seem to understand subtlety or emotional nuance. Being on an Autism spectrum could be in part some reason for the odd responses. Lack of empathy is a trait some folks with Autism display.
Claire, another of Madame Amanda’s finds, has profited quite well, with her 60 thou baby shower gift for experiences she claimed to have suffered ten years after the fact. Awfully convenient to suddenly “reach out” to Neil on a recorded line, at exactly the same time, Scarlett and Neil were deep into their own psychological drama… who but MADAME AMANDA PALMER, to offer Claire Neil’s email, and no doubt “whispered in Claire’s ear” one more time in how to rob the bank of Neil.
Madame Palmer, should be investigated. Pimping and pandering are crimes. Scarlett should have explained that to the NZ police.
Neil did bad; he has been universally humiliated by the intimate details of his sexual prowess (but again, show me a woman who has not had at least one painful sexual encounter that may have gone on too long. Men, dare I say, millions of men, around the world have continued pumping away, despite their partner saying they were in pain).
All of this should have been a private matter.
Make no mistake here, MADAME AMANDA PALMER is criminally responsible for her part in this soon to be Dateline drama of the next millennia.
September 10, 2024 at 11:57
Yeah I’m not Neil Gaiman. I’ve not coerced women in my power into have sex with me. I’ve not gotten people to sign NDAs about our sexual relations cos they don’t paint me in a good light. I’ve not used autism as an excuse to take advantage of women. I’ve not paid off women who have claims against me. I’ve not lied to a woman and told her I keep my fans at arms length and that she’s the only one.
I’m glad I’m no Neil Gaiman
September 4, 2024 at 15:46
You’re also not an internationally acclaimed, ground breaking, genre busting author who empowers women. You don’t sound very happy.
September 23, 2024 at 08:30
I’m pretty happy with my life of not being a predator, yeah.He’s admitted to everything that was said against him on the podcast, just he claims it was consensual, when it’s evident from all these women’s testimonies that it wasn’t. Even if some of them were consensual they’re still creepy as hell.
September 23, 2024 at 12:09
I don’t judge other people’s sexuality nor their expression of it. If someone has committed an assault than they should be detained and charged.
But an accusation or allegation needs to be substantiated, not just endorsed by others.
I have been a victim of a false felony assault accusation by a mentally disturbed woman who was merely trying to get my attention.
I never touched her, ever.
Nonetheless, I spent hard time in a cell just based on her accusation and nearly two years trying to restore my reputation after all charges were dropped and she rescinded her accusation.
One of the most traumatic 2 years of my life in which I lost my residence, my job and my self esteem.
Even my girlfriend at the time, took a day before she spoke to me, even though she knew better than anyone that I was incapable of what I had been accused of.
Sure violence against women whether sexual or not is epidemic and not to be tolerated. But Neither are mere accusations that aren’t substantiated.
September 23, 2024 at 13:15
He was nice to you and he wrote good fiction, so he couldn’t have taken advantage of anyone? Buddy, do I have a bridge in London to sell you.
August 28, 2024 at 12:50
Which bridge?
Listen, if he wasn’t nice to me or wrote terrible fiction, would that prove he committed these alleged crimes? What does one have to do with the other?
I don’t know what Neil may be guilty or falsely accused of.
I do know that he’s a genuine human being who has helped literally hundreds of people including Syrian Refugees.
If any of these scurrilous accusations turn out to be even half true, I will be deeply disappointed in my friend. However until there’s actual proof instead of here say, I reserve the right to stand by my friend and grant him the benefit of my doubt.
Do you really have a problem with that?
Don’t you have any friends?
September 23, 2024 at 08:36
Oh dearie, you’re not familiar with Neil’s work if you think the Kindly Ones are nice ladies. One has to give him credit for bringing myths and archetypes back to life in the modern world. But Neil got above himself, thought he was a God among fandom. And now he’s about to find out the Kindly Ones are coming for him: the Erynies, the Furies. The Fate of all men who have been caught by Hubris.
Pride goes before the fall.
He really should have expected us, dearie.
Ta for now.
August 23, 2024 at 20:07
oh now I get where we “borrowed” your moniker from!
you’re actually a fan of his work. Perhaps too big a fan when you take the authors you read to be heroes, incorporate allusions of their fantasy worlds into your real life and then get sour bitter when you realize that writers are made of clay.
Every child becomes disillusion by their parents and they descend from god hood to mortality.
it’s called growing up.
every child becomes disillusioned with their parents but we don’t all need to crucify them.
September 3, 2024 at 06:39
Gaiman said he did everything he’s been accused of, just that it was all consensual. The women disagree, but none of them are rich old white men you know personally so it’s clear which side you take.
There’s a reason adultery is a sin. Guess what, sins have consequences. Pretending it’s not a sin doesn’t help avoid the consequences, it just makes you more ignorant of what will happen as a result.
Did you ever tell your close personal friend whom you know so well to not cheat on his wife? Or would he have just found another close personal friend so you’d better not speak out?
I say this as someone who got Gaiman to autograph Violent Cases and Sandman #1 at a comic store signing in the early 90s. I also have most of Titan’s black-and-white collections of Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing.
August 23, 2024 at 15:31
Only reason I’m approving your comment for my blog is because you inadvertently exposed one of the prime motivations behind this perpetrating attack on Neil.
It’s religious Puritanism plain and simple.
Some it in a misguided neo feminist form, but moral Puritanism none the less.
I always knew that eventually Neil would get targeted for his Good Omens series, just for its take on religious characters.
Your accusations against Neil are really moral judgements on his sex and personal life.
You don’t agree with his morals so you want to dunk him in the river to see if he floats or repents for his sins.
Did Neil cheat on his wife?
No he is the only man (or woman) who has ever not cheated on their partner in the history of the world.
Feel better now?
PS. Hol onto that that signed Violent Casses and Sanman; they’re collector’s items you know!
August 23, 2024 at 16:13
Your “defense” against a remark of moral outrage is to call it “Puritanism” and thus it should be discarded as pearl clutching? In other words, you’re saying “the disgust you feel is just you being hysterical and you should calm down”.
That’s called “gaslighting” buddy. Good luck with that! Here’s a thought to consider: what if the person in question actually *is* a witch, and *should* be burned at the stake, and thus the moral outrage is justified, hmm?
Be careful. The court of public opinion can be fickle, and guilt by association is absolutely a thing there. That pyre can fit more than one witch at a time, you know.
August 24, 2024 at 06:09
You’re asking me?
I’ll take the witch’s side over the Puritans every time
When I was young I was always the Indian when we played cowboys and Indians.
September 23, 2024 at 09:25
It’s clear from your post and comments that you haven’t even bothered to listen to both the podcasts in their entirety and yet are happy to slander the women who have bravely spoken up.
But seeing as this is being sponsored on Tumblr as an ad, I don’t think your goal here was just to clear the air about a friend…
August 23, 2024 at 14:58
You’re GitHub, I haven’t bothered to listen to the podcasts. Instead I read their transcripts on Torteise. I challenge you to point out any line, a word, any comma I have written on my blog that in any way slanders the women making allegations.
I have said that I personally find their allegations dubious but I’m. Ready to be proven wrong as soon as the speculations and conjectures settle down and we can get to some hard, corroborated facts? Any chance of that in the near future, you think?
My blog is not sponsored by Tumbler Norse did I pay to have my blog promoted by Tumbler. This is an error on their part.
August 23, 2024 at 16:05
“Well I’ve never personally seen him assault women so he must be a nice guy.” Sound logic there, mate.
August 23, 2024 at 14:36
I’ve never seen you assault anyone, either so without any evidence to the contrary, I assume that you don’t
August 23, 2024 at 14:52
What if there are five first-person testimonies of victimization, a formally filed police report well within the statute of limitations, an ongoing investigation led by an Human Rights Watch award-winning international journalist, corroborating secondary testimonies, and corroborating voice memos by the alleged perpetrator for at least one allegation?
Is that enough “evidence to the contrary”?
Because that is the evidence we’re looking at wrt: Neil Gaiman.
I’m “assuming” he has sexually abused the five people who detailed his abusive acts against them, in their own words, most with additional corroborating evidence.
I’m assuming he raped the person who said he raped her (K). I’m assuming he sexually and physically assaulted the people who described his acts of assault against them (Scarlett, Julia, Claire, K)
I assume he psychologically and financially abused the people who described him abusing them in those ways. (Caroline Walker, Scarlett)
I am making these “assumptions” because there is ZERO evidence to the contrary. There is no evidence that any of these individuals are lying or exaggerating. Nor is there any evidence of any even theoretical *benefit* of lying or exaggerating.
Neil Gaiman himself has not even made a single counter point against Claire, Julia or Caroline’s allegations.
He also did not deny his sexual acts against Scarlett or K, including the acts’ violent nature, only claiming the relationships + acts were consensual, and disputing certain specifics.
In the face of corroborating first person testimony, saying “no, I didn’t,” isn’t the most airtight counter-argument. And the fact that he presents *no* counter-argument at all against Claire, Caroline Walker, and Julia’s claims is…telling.
These women have no incentive to lie. In fact, like many victims, these women risk incredible personal and psychological harm to come forward with the truth.
So. there’s evidence that Neil abused people. There’s zero evidence that anyone is trying to make fraudulent claims. What other reasonable conclusion is there to draw?
August 23, 2024 at 16:31
I’m honestly not sure how you thought this post and your follow up comments would help your friend Neil. If anything, this post is going to make it worse for him by virtue of your words being very out of touch with today’s consent culture and the attempt to shut down the voices of victims based solely on your own personal experience.
Plenty of people loved Cosby, he was a national hero, a lot of folks close to him would have insisted he was incapable of the harm he did. Yet, we know what he did.
Compartmentalization is a powerful form of denial and is often made worse the more power and status a person has and with that, the support of their enablers. It’s hard to imagine that people we love can be capable of doing great harm when we are not present but there are myriad examples of this throughout history, especially in the entertainment industry.
I have a strong feeling that Neil will read these comments, so if I were you Neil, I’d strongly suggest your friend delete this if you thought his post might help paint you in a positive light.
August 23, 2024 at 14:20
Future..etc.:thanks for your expressed concerned but there’s really no need to trouble yourself. I regret that you feel that my comments show me to be out of touch with “Consent Culture”. Perhaps if you couldrecommend a textbook I could read an online courseI could take, I’ll try and catch up with this new universal norm.
I do take issue with your accusation that I am attempting to shut down the voices of victims. Now “Victim Culture” is something I am aware of as a new norm and I deplore its deprivation of agency. It is possible to regret a bad choice without being someone’s victim.
Comparing Neil to Bill Cosby is pretty far fetched. Neil couldn’t tell a good joke if his life depended on it. As far as I know, no one has accused him of drugging anyone.
I understand your comments regarding compartmentalizing things as a form of denial, but do you understand how many false allegations are made that ruin people’s professional standing? I would consider Kevin Spacey’s recent court reversals and vindication as examples of someone who exhibited some stupid, drunken behavior that got him in deep trouble but fell well short of qualifying as criminal behaviors.
If everyone who made a clumsy pass at someone wound up in jail, that’s where we’d all be.
Let me ask you, have you spent your entire life without ever having got too drunk and done something you regret or mis read someone’s signals or made an unwanted pass at someone?
Perhaps you are literally a saint, but I seriously doubt it.
I’m not writing this to paint Neil in any light, positive or negative.
That’s not my job (That was 30 years ago).
My job today is to write about what I know to be true.
What I know to be true is that people fuck up.
They do things that they regret.
They sleep with people they shouldn’t have and then regret it
And yes, they misread signals, make clumsy passes and behave irresponsibly.
None of this is a crime, it’s call the human condition and the sooner the moral judges can start viewing the human race through the lens of their own regrets and misdemeanors, with compassion and understanding, the sooner we can reach a point where ‘Consent Culture’ is an actually norm rather than a cudgel of judgement and cancellation.
August 23, 2024 at 14:44
Apparently similar testimonies by multiple women over several decades, all of which corroborate a similar pattern of behavior, completely independent of each other, are completely wrong because obviously who can trust those crazy women, right? Obviously all of them risked harassment and public hostility just to get at this one totally innocent guy, who also happens to be very influential and powerful just for revenge? Because that’s just what women do, right? 🙄
Also very funny that you are paying to promote this blog post on Tumblr because, frankly, this is a very bad attempt at defending Gaiman and does not make him look as good as you were hoping.
August 23, 2024 at 13:20
Wrong,wrong and wrong.
“Apparently”? Apparently?
Apparently you wish to remain an anonymous ‘J’ whereas you can see who I am and Neil is a public figure.
No I did not pay Tumbler (or anyone else) to promote my essay.
I can’t afford to promote my writing.
This is a free forum, to which you are welcome to make a donation.
Multiple women over decades? Which women, which decades?
Being the victim of a false accusation myself, I’m very aware that there are crazy motives for making things up.
My “crazy woman” (she’ currently in therapy for depression), parental y thought the best way to get my attention was to SWAT me, telling the police that I was armed and dangerous. It took 2 years of advocacy on the part of my friends, many of them writers, artists and college professors to clear my name even though I’ve never owned a gun and am on public record as a staunch advocate of banning guns all together.
I was also involved in the local BLM movement and loudly berated the use of firearms and violence by the police against people of color. This of course did not help in my dealings with the police and probably led to my being arrested on the basis of a false allegation. Or in the words of the arresting Lieutenant “We already know who you are, Igor”.
So yeah, I think there are crazy, attention seeking women and men out there who make things up to get attention. Because I’ve encountered more than one.
The reason that my essay is a bad defense of Neil is because it isn’t one.
Neil can defend himself, he doesn’t need me to.
“J” do you have anything better to do with your time? Or is bashing Neil Gaiman the only hobby you have?
I’m outta here!
August 23, 2024 at 13:40
Have you even looked in the allegations? Because it seems like you don’t even know the basic facts. And I’m commenting because I believe it is important to speak up for survivors and to refute rape apologists.
I was directed here from an ad on Tumblr so clearly someone paid money to promote this post.
August 23, 2024 at 13:51
I’ve read all the transcripts of the podcasts published by Tortoise, which is how the allegations first came to my attention. I hope you’re not accusing me of being a rape apologist! Has anyone actually accused Neil of rape? If so, why hasn’t he been arrested and charged?
This anti Neil onslaught resembles nothing less than a witch hunt.
No even handedness.
Judgements based on conjecture rather than facts.
Knee jerk, band wagon conclusions fueled by celebrity hating.
I can’t even publish half of the lurid, hate comments. I’ve received based on my essay. They really are vile, attacking Neil but more importantly attacking me for offering alternative perspectives.
The Greeks used to kill their heroes when they were done admiring them.
My authority in this matter stems from having been subject to a FALSE accusation of assault by a mentally disturbed housemate for over two years. Even though it was a lie perpetuated for not returning certain attentions and dismissed by the DA for lack of evidence and failure to appear, I was. Traumatized to the extent that I stopped writing, stopped reading in public, couldn’t work and as a result nearly became homeless.
All down to one neurotic woman’s mad desire for attention and revenge for not getting enough of mine.
So maybe you’ll grant me the respect of having a slightly different point of view when such accusations arise.
August 24, 2024 at 07:00
Someone did pay for this to show up as a promoted post on Tumblr, because it is showing up as one.
August 23, 2024 at 14:48
If so, it’s without my knowledge or permission.
I don’t subscribe to paid boosts for anything I write on social media. Firstly, I can’t afford it and secondly when I had commercial books to promote that actually could have used the boost, none of it made any foreseeable impact on my sales.
If you find out who did pay for the ad and get their details, I will contact them and tell them to stop.
Thanks for pointing it out.
Igor
August 23, 2024 at 14:56
Again, sorry that you have been put into this position. I suspect it’s Neil’s ‘reputation management’ company, Edendale Strategies, which has paid to promote your post. (Probably using a deniable arms-length proxy.)
August 28, 2024 at 05:37
Somehow that’s doubtful. I have a very small voice.
September 23, 2024 at 09:00
Not commenting on the size of your voice – merely the odd fact that someone (presumably not you!) has been paying to promote your post on Tumblr (as though it were an ad).
Anyway sorry that you’ve been put in this position.
September 24, 2024 at 00:56
Then why hasn’t he? Complete radio silence other than the ‘bots who have been dispatched to Twitter to post quotes and other nonsense to mess with search results is kind of telling.
You’d think by now he’d have enough ammo to sue at least Tortoise for defamation under UK law.
The complete silence is just making him look guiltier, and like he knows there’s more coming other than the 5 who have come forward as well as the other 2 Tortoise mentioned who were afraid to.
Um, ‘scuse me? Most of the accounts involve a power dynamic, where he has the more power. He has power over fans, especially younger ones. And in an employer-employee relationship there’s a serious power dynamic.
I think you might be too close to him, and another man, to see it.
August 26, 2024 at 01:01
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I was a publicist at the time I met Neil, but I’ve since been a college professor, a producer a poet and an author. I’ve kept in touch with Neil throughout because he’s a friend. Is that ok with you?
I haven’t count 7 women making allegations against him. I’ve only read the series of article Tortoise is running on the subject and I count 3 different women over a 20 year period. Who are the other women what accounts do they give?
If you know them personally (otherwise why would you dedicate so much of your time and attention to backing their claims), invite them to come to my blog and state their cases. This is an open forum where any opinion can be entertained.
August 23, 2024 at 12:17
…Maybe don’t then?
August 23, 2024 at 09:03
Why shouldn’t I attest to the character of a friend in the wake of so far, unsubstantiated allegations?
I am attesting to what I do know, not speculating, (as you are), about events of which you and I know nothing about.
August 23, 2024 at 09:07
Speculating? You said you have no good reason to question these women’s credibility, and then you did that. No speculation involved there.
August 23, 2024 at 09:19
I’m not questioning or attesting to these women’s allegations.
I’m not a cop or a lawyer.
What I am saying is that personally, I am skeptical because I am a very good judge of character and I find it highly unlikely that Neil would be capable of the letter of these allegations.
I might be completely wrong, but we won’t know that until these women pursue whatever legal regress is available to them .
Until then, I go with what I do know which is that Neil is on a personal level a kind and loving individual who introduced me to my wife and has helped literally hundreds of women professionally.
He’s also one of the first professionals with clout to acknowledge the talents and value of trans people in his profession contrary to the bigotry of other authors such as Rawlings, who really should know better.
Being an artist is an anti social act, so artists should empathize best with other communities of people who are ostracized from mainstream acceptance.
30 years ago, this used to be true of female artists and writers in the publishing industry.
What I witnessed first hand is Neil’s courage and integrity in standing up for women artists and using whatever resources he had to champion their talents
This is really all I have to say in the context of these allegations.
August 23, 2024 at 09:56
You poor summer child. You don’t know Neil, you know the parts of his persona he wants you to know. All predators do this. That’s why everyone is shocked that a serial killer was “such a nice guy!”
I knew someone in my industry that was always helpful, cheerful, pleasant, who was part of the LGBTQ community ffs. Two years ago they were arrested for murdering and dismembering their partner.
Yes, you can be fooled by Neil charm. Maybe sit this one out cuz it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
August 23, 2024 at 12:56
Now you’re talking!
See I would much rather believe that Neil murdered and dismembered his partner.
I once saw Neil throw a bag full of puppies and heavy stones into he Thames from a bridge just to hear them squeal.
This is absolutely and totally true because, well because I said it is.
See how that works?
Now if you have some first hand knowledge or witnessed something you want to share here just to show me up as a naive summer child, then by all means do so.
Otherwise you’re just blowing hot air. Dangerous hot air that has malicious consequences.
August 23, 2024 at 13:03
Hi Igor, Sorry that you’ve been stuck in this situation. But the problem is you’re sticking up for NG in the professional context you know him in, rather than believing that five women (not 3) who have gone public.
You know one facet of the man: this is another, very different, behind-closed-doors one.
I would strongly recommend listening to the pods and hearing the women speak. It’s pretty harrowing – especially stories of women being forced, in a relationship, to endure painful sex which they didn’t want or consent to. Or being told to supply sex or see their family made homeless.
Best, Roly Allen
August 28, 2024 at 05:34
I haven’t.
I’ve only attested to MY experience and knowledge of Neil as a champion of women creators, a loving father and a respecter of women in general.
you can call my essay a Character Reference for those who have heard the allegations but do not know the man personally.
September 3, 2024 at 06:53
…I feel like a generous-spirited man of integrity might have thought twice before penetrating a young woman who explicitly asked him not to because she was suffering from a painful infection.
August 23, 2024 at 08:24
I know that’s what she claims, but I don’t know if it’s true. But people do do stupid and cruel things that they later regret. I know I have. Have you? Or can you stand by every action, every deed you have have committed without regret or remorse?
August 23, 2024 at 09:01
I think most people can safely say they have never sexually assaulted anyone.
August 23, 2024 at 09:57
Legally or morally? I think it’s safe to assume that the majority of sexual assaults are perpetuated by men on women (and other men). The question here is what constitutes a sexual assault and so far the admitted consensual nature of even the worst of the allegations, brings this question to the fore.
If I slept with a man and later deeply regretted it and felt that he had coerced his way with me, was I sexually assaulted?
August 23, 2024 at 10:03
Your blog post and comments are a masterclass in how to do rape apologia. You should worry about that instead of speculating about hypotheticals.
August 23, 2024 at 10:12
Who has accused Neil of rape? I certainly haven’t Read that anywhere.
Have you?
Where exactly?
I don’t justify, defend or make apologies for rape or sexual assault. Ever!
I have a 25 year old daughter and a deceased sister who I thank god I trained well enough in self defense to ward off any predators.
But your reactionary accusation that I would justify rape underlines my point: that anyone can make any allegation about anyone. That doesn’t make the allegation true, be default
To take it at face value without context or corroboration is just plain irresponsible.
Allegations which prove to be exaggerated or even false, do
as much harm to the actual, real victims of rape as the assault does.
Credibility must be proven when accusations are made.
Otherwise everything is true just because someone says it is.
August 23, 2024 at 10:30
You’re changing the goalposts. Are you saying she’s lying (“not sure it’s true”) or that her account that she set repeated boundaries that she did not want to have penetrative sex because of the UTI and then he did any way is according to you, not rape or sexual assault? (What constitutes a sexual assault). This fan was also in high school when he met her and still only 20 when they began dating. Gaiman has despite this denied allegations of grooming. You’ve repeatedly tried to say you’re not necessarily calling the women liars. Yet, you keep implying they’re liars or undermining their stories and stating they only contain descriptions consensual encounters.
August 28, 2024 at 04:19
Look, this is simpler than you make it. Being the victim of false accusations myself, of a criminal nature (!), I am well aware of the violence that unproven allegations can bring which is the equivalent to and sometimes surpass the consequences of physical assault or even rape. I was false accused some 4 years ago for violently assaulting a woman living in the house I was rending with a baseball bat! Moreoever, when she called the police, she lied to them and told them that I was an armed and dangerous violent criminal. I heard her report this on her cell phone through my bedroom window. Within an hour I was facing an armed SWAT team with dogs and shotguns pointed at me. OK????
All based on a disturbed woman’s word who had tried coming onto me sexually and I had rebuffed.
I’m not defending Neil Gaiman, he’s perfectly capable of defneding himself and has in the past, won every legal dispute he has ever had; just ask Tod McFarlin. I’m not defending benNeil, I’m defending myself and EVERYONE who has been subjected to the consequences of unproven allegations.
That is all they are: allegations until criminal action is taken and they are proven to be true allegations in a court of law.
Until then you social media vampyres are just feasting on the blood that’s on the floor.
You’re lapping up the juices of split success.
You target Neil simply because he’s more famous than you.
Even celebrities are entitled to justice and fairness.
Shame on you!!!
I’m not defen
December 4, 2024 at 04:43
We may all have made mistakes in our lives but I can safely say that I’ve never left anyone with lasting trauma. And if I had, I would be owning it and making amends instead of spending a fortune on PR in the hope that it will all disappear if my friends all go lalalala for a bit.
August 23, 2024 at 10:24
Firstly, the insinuation that Neil has asked or paid me to write my opinion piece is a bald-faced lie.
I approached Neil when the rumours became allegations and then Tortoise started running them. I gave him my sympathy and support as I had recently been falsely accused of not a sexual assault, but criminal assault nonetheless by a reply disturbed woman ho had been making overtures in my direction which I had rejected.
Her response was to have me SWATTED and I faced a dozen heavily armed police and canines on my front drive wayone morning.
Regardless of my protesting my innocence, base solely on her word alone as there were no witnesses in the house at the time
I was handcuffed and arrested, spent 18 hours in a holding cell had to post my own bailed then was illegally locked out of my own home.
Even my girlfriend at the time, who knew me, took a day before she spoke to me after she realized that I was incapable of what this mad woman had accused me of.
Needless to say, all charges were dropped after the woman in question failed to even appear at the hearing and the DA wondered why the polic had made th arrest in the first place.
Nonetheless, it’s been two years since I’ve been able to overcome the trauma of false accusations of violence and facing a serious felony of assault and battery.
This is why I reached out to Neil a couple of months ago. Because merely being accused of such a crime, being life long pacifists that both of us are, is an assault on character and the spirit in its own right.
I strongly believe that women who make accusations f assault should be listened to, taken seriously and thoroughly investigated.
However, if other motives are discovered for the accusation and it turns out to be false, they should be prosecuted to th full extent of the law for assault instead.
This is not a game.
Serious consequences are at stake here.
Every accusation should be taken seriously and investigated. But a false accusation is a criminal act and should be treated as such.
In my opinion.
August 23, 2024 at 12:37
If Gaiman did pay you to write this in his defense, he deserves his money back.
And, BTW, “….he had coerced his way with me, was I sexually assaulted?” Yes, if someone coerced his way with you, you were sexually assaulted.
August 23, 2024 at 13:14
He’s not getting a dime back!
BTW, coercion is not the same as assault.
I hate the current custom of depriving people of all agency.
And persuasion is not “gas lighting”either!
It’s an Americanism that denies agency and that people can actually change their own minds when presented with different information
August 23, 2024 at 13:20
In my dictionary, ‘coercion’ and ‘assault’ are two different words with two different meanings.
September 3, 2024 at 06:59
You’re projecting your experience onto Gaiman. Unlike you, there are 5 different women. Unlike in your case, one showed up to court, all the way, when she was being evicted and he made her sign an NDA to settle. Unlike in your case, Amanda Palmer is reported to have told a woman that she was aware of him doing things like this. Unlike in your case, several of these women are successful professionals (entertainment industry, therapists) and not mentally disturbed people who can’t show up to hearings. Perhaps it would behoove you to listen to the Tortoise podcast so you can hear their actual voices. The last two have the most recent victims who have come forward which you seem least familiar with.
August 28, 2024 at 04:25
Dude, if you’re having sex with someone and, they are screaming and crying with pain, you STOP.
No one who is not an evil f— makes that kind of mistake.
notice moderation is turned on, hmmm…..
August 23, 2024 at 13:01
Moderation is turned on so that I don’t inadvertently contribute to spreading hearsay and unsubstantiated allegations.
I’m interested in truth here, not cancellation or crucifixion.
I gather you are quoting from the transcripts of some podcast where this claim was made by someone remaining anonymous.
Yeah, I agree, that would be a horrendous thing to do.
If it’s in fact true.
So far I’ve only read disputes for what I’ve written from at best, 4th and fifth hand parties.
Just because women have been disbelieved or dismissed in the past; and they most certainly have been, does not suddenly make every new allegation bonafide and true,
August 23, 2024 at 13:12
Just because you were never assaulted by him or witnessed any assault, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen to someone else behind closed doors.
I believe it’s up to 7 women, now. But, let’s just take your word for him not being the type, since you sound like such an upstanding guy when it’s come to relations with women.
August 23, 2024 at 13:25
Italso doesn’t mean that it has occurred .
My relationships with women are none of your concern. H, don’t you have anything better to do with your time?
August 23, 2024 at 13:44
Maybe you should pass on to Neil that forcibly anal sex/rape can permanently ruin someone’s health. And there would definitely still be evidence of scar tissue a medical professional can see.
Good luck with discovery!
August 23, 2024 at 14:00
And you call yourself “A Kindly One”. Really?
Do you know what the difference between conjecture and facts are?
You are contributing
to the gaslighting of my readers by stating independent facts that by implication are an attempt to allocate blame by semantic association.
I seriously wonder whether or not your moniker is merely intended to throw off suspicion from your systematic kidnapping and mutilation of Panda Bear Cubs!
No really, I wonder about that.
Just because there’s no apparent evidence that you do mutilate panda bear cubs, doesn’t mean it hasn’t occurred, maybe behind closed doors.
Possibly at the San Diego Zoo.
Possibly most Fridays.
Can you tell the difference between
Insinuating conjectures
and facts yet ?
Now leave those baby panda bear cubs alone!
August 23, 2024 at 14:15
What do you think then about the podcast episode that has him lying about keeping fans at arms length, that has him try and gaslight the survivor into thinking she’s to blame? What about the survivor who he said was trying to use him to get backstage passes, but it’s been proven he told her he’d introduce her to David Tennant?
September 4, 2024 at 15:49
Anyone can do anything they want on a Podcast. I do all the time. But a Podcast is not the same as real life or legal evidence.
September 23, 2024 at 08:28
I’m not really sure how to reply to third hand accounts.
Did he? If so, that would be despicable.
Didn’t he? Well that would be people making false allegations and equally despicable.
How do we know?
Do you have some first hand or even second hand corroboration of these character-assassinating allegations?
I don’t, nor have I heard directly from any of his accusers.
In spite of the fact that my blog essay has received hundreds of views and scores of comments, no one with even second hand information has bothered to comment here.
Or contact me directly to correct my neutrality.
Did he or didn’t he?
I don’t know.
But until someone comes forwards with some concrete evidence, I’d prefer to believe he hadn’t.
That’s just me; I prefer the best in people until they prove otherwise.
September 24, 2024 at 11:00
Anyone who uses the term ‘gaslighting’ is immeediately suspect in my book. In my days, we used to call what you call gaslighting ‘persuasion’, for better or worse. When someone tries to sell you a used car are they (shock, horror!) gas lighting you. What about health insurance? Or a job counsellor trying to persuade you to go back to school.. Is your partner gas lighting you when she tries to persuade you to see the RomCom instead of the Marvel movie? What about army recruiters?
December 3, 2024 at 07:46
Gaslighting is a specific form of manipulation where the perpetrator tries to convince you that your reality and perception is wrong. Anyone who dismisses the term outright and goes on a daft rant about how “back in my day we didn’t care if someone convinced another person they were going mad, we just chucked them in Bedlam”
Also, how are you feeling now after the latest round of information about your friend? I’ll tell you what, I’m still very grateful to be no Neil Gaiman.
January 16, 2025 at 13:47
“Gaslighting is a specific form of manipulation where the perpetrator tries to convince you that your reality and perception is wrong.” Where exactly did you get that definition, from a movie mag? What you are generically describing is a dialogue in which one party attempts to persuade the other that their perception might be hampered. Taking it literally, you just jettisoned all forms of psychoanalysis, peer therapy and anything that challenges assumptions. Challenging assumptions and engaging in rhetorical debates is one of the fundamental characteristics of critical thinking.
Is critical thinking the equivalent of gas lighting to you?
What I really object to here is not so much your perception as your tone.
You have adopted the self righteous posture of being Neil Gaiman’s cop, judge and jury without a shred of tangible evidence beyond the hearsay of half a dozen accusers, none of whom apparently are willing to go to the authorities with their allegations and try the test of evidence.
ers me a hell of a lot more than Neil Gaiman’s
I think you belong to a mob.
A mob bent on blood vengeance for unfounded rumours and untried allegations.
This is what fascinates me about the Strange Case of Neil Gaiman; not him so much as his gathering mob of lynchers.
Your motivation concerns me a lot more than his.
To be honest.
Igor
January 16, 2025 at 14:13